Sunday, January 31, 2010

How is she?

Well, when she was able to wear great-grandma's earrings to church this morning, she was happy.

But honestly...she's been quite a bit of grump mixed in with a little bit of happy, which has been a big shift from our happy, spunky, social butterfly of a girl.

She doesn't want anyone to touch her owie.  We had to put a short sleeved dress on her for church (in this snowstorm, nonetheless) so that it was easier to get her hand through a sleeve. (She's very conscientious and careful with her bandaged hand.)  I debated bringing her to church at all, and ended up bringing her home right after the sacrament because of a major meltdown.

We told her she gets to meet her new doctor tomorrow (the plastic surgeon) and that he will help fix her fingers, and she says "No.  No doctor."  The novelty has worn off.

But at the same time, she has been an extremely brave little girl, who has respected her bandages and melted the hearts of many physicians and nurses this weekend with her wit, her conversation and big blue eyes.

I, myself have not been so brave.  I'm having some issues that I need to work through.  I get physically sick when I think about what happened, or think about the wound, OR see the wound.  I have to put my head down and hide my eyes whenever the doctor looks at it.  And I'm still not getting much sleep because it's all I think about. When are they going to scrub it?   Is she going to need skin grafts?  Will she have full mobility?  

I need to buck-up.  It's going to take some time for her hand to heal...with lots of re-dressing the wound; which I am going to need to do.  I have to do this!  Bill's going to give me a priesthood blessing after Porter's court of honor tonight.  (He's receiving 4 merit badges!!!)

We can do this Evelyn.

You might just need to help pull mommy through. 


'T' said...

Nat we've been thinking about you guys non stop. Bless your heart. Hang in there, and Priesthood Blessings bring miracles.

LGH said...

Natalie, I'm so glad you have updated your blog. I've thought so often about your last post; the pictures of your daughter were so poignant and your thoughts so tender. You are in my prayers.

Shawn and Megan Atwood said...

Nat I've been wondering all day how the doctors visit went today, and what all this little girl has ahead of her. Your in our prayers.

jj said...

Nat, I so understand your feelings, I was so afraid Ammon wasn't going to be able to walk, and run like normal kids. All will be well, hang in there my friend, I know it is super tough but try not to blame yourself, I know we do that really well as moms. You guys are in our thoughts and prayers. Hang in there!! We love you guys so much!!!


jen said...

This photo is absolutely a treasure!! I love it.

It is amazing how much strength we can get from our children. It's okay to lean on them until you get your feet under you again. But I can tell by your post, you are already stronger! In fact, you are much, much stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Nicole Williams said...

Oh Natalie, I am so sorry! You hang in there. It will all be alright. You are a great mother and a great person.

The Lane Family said...

Thank Heavens for priesthood blessings and for strong little girls :)

The picture of Evelyn with great grandma's earrings is so sweet!!